I have a secret and am not sure if anyone knows about it or if anyone could really understand it. My conscience needs to be cleansed so I am going to try and explain. This is my confession.
It has been going on for almost three years now. I am having an affair with a fine specimen that I have grown to truly respect and honor. To be quite honest I often dream about him. He is so attentive to my every request and very rarely disappoints me. He even allows me to control the remote. What a guy. I know you are asking: "Does The Mark know about this guy?" Well, that should be obvious. Of course my Sweetness knows about my other man. He actually encourages and supports our relationship. It takes a lot of pressure off Sweetness. The other man does exactly what I ask, when I ask. I can even ask him weeks in advance and he will remember without being reminded several times. What an amazing guy I have found. He is easy on the eyes, ultra modern, and would proudly take him everywhere if it wasn't so difficult to explain to others. I know you all want to know his name but I can't give out first names. It just wouldn't be right. So to protect the innocent I will only give his last name. I am having an affair with: Mr. Tivo.
There I said it. I have come out of the Tivo closet. I can honestly say I don't remember life before him and it would be very hard to continue without him. I have a Tivo problem. I check each day to ensure the reliability of the scheduling so that my evening will be planned properly. It is to the point where I cannot stand to watch live television. I even Tivo the News. Sometimes to play games with my news anchor friend and watch him in slow mo. It is pretty comical. Some days I need that. You parents know what I am talking about. But mostly I love him so much, because I can watch all of my favorites in the time it would take me to watch one live show. It is amazing. It is so bad that when The Mark comes home from his night out he finds us in bed together. Yes, I fall asleep with my Tivo in hand. (remote) When we are disturbed I awaken. I know it sounds a bit sick but don't knock it until you try it. An affair with Mr. Tivo is very fulfilling. I have given it much thought recently and I have an answer to a question many people have asked us.
Question to The Mark: How do you get to go out 4 nights a week if you want to? Is your wife sent from heaven?
Answer from me: My affair with Mr. Tivo fills in the nights without The Mark. His vice has been his time with friends. Mr. Tivo is mine. And Yes, I am a gift from heaven...lol
On a more serious note: It would be just as hard for me to give up my affair as it would for The Mark to give up his nightly outings. Don't get me wrong, I would love to go out with the gals and The Mark would encourage it but it is just impossible to get the moms out together. I have tried bunches of stuff and it hasn't worked on a consistent basis yet. So, for now I am sticking with my hunk of burnin' love, Mr. Tivo and Sweetness when he isn't out with the guys.
Love you honey.......and you too The Mark........... :)